Why "Gentle" Yoga

Why Gentle Yoga?‍

Many people shy away from Yoga because as I often hear - “I am not flexible enough” - I get it - it's intimidating, no one wants to look incompetent in a class, or wants to struggle with their bodies, pushing it or wrestling with it to get it into “shapes” that just won’t seem to fit.

And yes, in yoga we can get hurt but maybe more commonly we create a subtle and sometimes less subtle fight with ourselves. By trying to mold and force ourselves into shapes that the body resists, we produce the opposite effect intended: distress, discomfort and pain.

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Gentle yoga is caring for ourselves, by creating balance, harmony, ease and freedom.

There are so many ways to practice yoga; however, my first and most important rule, for both myself and my students, begins with ” do no harm”. I came to this decision after an injury from a car accident followed by many years of dedicated daily practice. Yoga was my relief, and portal to self discovery: Where was my pain coming from? What if I moved this way, held my body that way, how was my left side different from and right? What gave me relief? In addition, yoga gifted me with the unexpected beautiful prize of deep relaxation and meditation - a topic for another day.  Fortunately I was blessed with an excellent first teacher who showed me how to get there. Thank you Wendy.

In addition to Wendy, my mother’s yoga practice played an important part in my childhood, teenage and adult years.

My mother’s practice was practical, simple, consistent. She moved through many traditional poses and other movements that might not be classical poses but are commonly practiced in Yoga classes (like leg stretches). There was nothing complicated from my external view, and her practice seemed to stay basically the same year after year. I can see her still in Triangle pose, Forward bend, Cobra and sitting effortlessly on the ground doing alternate nostril breathing with her eyes closed.

Through my recollection, I realized for the first time, that I never observed “strain”, holding her breath with effort, or misalignment in an effort to mold herself into a shape that she couldn’t comfortably create.

It worked, it served its purpose, and there was nothing egoic or even necessarily spiritual about it - She had Christianity and prayer for that. (She also read books by authors like Deepak Chopra and had a beautifully open mind). She had no special “yoga clothes” or even a yoga mat, no “Guru” and she made it work on the carpet in the living room, on the beach or on the dock with a blanket. I am left with the imagery forever in my mind  - of ease, freedom and what appeared to be effortless discipline.

When I practiced, here and there with her, she didn’t pretend to know more, in fact she approached it with a kind of humbleness that said, “This is how I do it, it may or may not be right and may not work for you”. Few words were shared as we practiced. I was struck and confused for a long time, that even though I had my younger age on my side, she was more flexible, more comfortable with the postures and had a kind of ease I didn’t feel in my own body. I got it many years later as a teacher, genetically we are all different. I didn’t inherit her flexibility. My body was tighter and more resistant, I had to remember to breathe. She also had consistency and years of practice behind her.

As a teacher, I realized I had to work for my “flexibility”, and in recent years, I have finally accepted that in fact I don’t need what I was striving for. My years of practice have helped me mostly maintain the flexibility I had when I was younger, but I know now, I don’t have to work so hard and more flexibility doesn’t always equate to sufficient or better mobility or comfort.

So why gentle? If we enter into the practice and push, pull, and feel pain, the body resists, contracts and understandably we don’t want to do it again. And it's actually doing it again and again in “cooperation with the body”, that makes it effective and satisfying.

There are no “required” postures -  even in daily practice. Thanks Donna Farhi for reminding me of this.

My hope for people is that they discover the movements and postures that unwind them, smooth out the knots and restrictions, and find safe postures that allow them to relax and open. I love to encourage people to explore, find and feel their own "alignment" so the body is working as a coordinated “whole”, so we are less “disjointed” and awkward. With practice over time we realize it spills over into day to day life often unexpectedly - how you stand at the sink, how you sit in the car, how you walk, maybe even how you lie in bed.

Having said all that - what about effort? What does effort look like without pain and creating more restriction? I like to use the practice to not only “unwind” but to build up stability - it is possible to do both. We can reinforce core stability (all “around” the body, not just in the front), we can strengthen the legs and hips and back, we can learn to hold ourselves in various positions relative to gravity that challenge us. We may even feel that familiar burn in our legs and arms. None of that is inconsistent with the philosophical premise of a “careful practice”. And none of it needs to be inconsistent with other vigorous or challenging exercises outside of Yoga. Yoga can support your weight training, your running, cycling, kayaking and walking.

Ultimately when we move through our days, hopefully, we slump less, we may experience less back pain, or neck pain, or sciatic flare ups, we can re-pattern our movement so we are more likely to align ourselves well, we can get comfortable with going slowly and becoming more aware. We can become patient with our bodies and minds. And for me, the practice itself is more enjoyable than ever - especially as I have let go of expectations that weren’t serving me. More recently in my work with  Donna Farhi (Teacher to the Teachers), I have so appreciated her confirmation that self care is foundational. Yoga is not supposed to hurt and exploring our own way through a Yoga practice is more than permitted - it's encouraged.

Go Easy

Be Free